When it comes to movies I like to think I’m pretty open-minded, however if I were to be honest and you asked me to name my all-time favourites – they’d be very much in the category of “Man movies.” There’s a part of me that is deep, transparent and emotive, yet I’m also extremely comfortable with a time when the former Governor of California was a murderous, futuristic robot.
Van Damme kicking trees with his shins? Yes, that truly rocks my socks. I also have a lot of time for Slyvester Stallone and ‘Karate Kid’ montage’s.
BUT it has been known for me to like a couple of chick flicks; “How to lose a guy in 20 days” (or is it 10? 30? I don’t know, who cares!?) was one of the first chick flicks to work its way into my system. (Oh Kate Hudson, you and your funny ways) *Squeezes Hudson’s pretty little dimples.*
I love watching My Girl when it repeats, for sentimental reasons – as I went to see it at the cinema with a loved one who is no longer with us.
And then…The Notebook I would actually put it in my all-time top 10, possibly 5 and I have absolutely no shame in admitting this. Beautiful movie!
So as a soon to be traveller, who reads enough travel blogs to warrant an intervention – there was only going to be one travel-related chick flick that demanded my attention; Eat, Pray, Love.
The story of an unsatisfied married woman who leaves her job and everything she knows, to find meaning in her life…..stay with me, lads 
I took it upon myself to watch this movie with a completely open mind and document my perception of this flick for the chicks, and finish it off with a little review. Enjoy!
Five minutes in: I’m trying to work out if I find Julia Roberts fit or not. (For my North American readers, fit = hot). She’s like one of them magic eyes, she looks lovely in some camera angles and kind of weird in other angles.
Ten minutes in: I find myself captivated by a scene; Robert’s character (Elizabeth Gilbert) is lying in bed with her husband and suddenly says (in reference to their relationship); “I can’t do this anymore.” She then feels like absolute shit for the rest of the night, crying while praying for some guidance. Why was I so captivated by such a simple scene? Because it’s not so far away from what I did when I decided I wanted to up sticks from here, except my armpits were less hairy, I dumped a girl and I turned to tea and Google that night for help instead.
Twenty two minutes in: I relate to Gilbert once again – could this possibly be another addition to my hall of fame for chick flicks? Gilbert asks her friend if she could name what she ate for lunch today. Her friend says she doesn’t know and Gilbert replies; “exactly!” (Or some variant). I totally ‘get’ what she’s saying here.
Twenty six minutes in: What a strumpet! She’s met a new guy – fast mover!
Thirty minutes in: Apart from the two small scenes I mentioned, I’m losing interest but trying my hardest to remain balanced in thinking.
Forty minutes in: She’s dumped new man, speaking the obscure language of “Womanese,” fobbing him off with; “I don’t know how to be here.” Crack-pot! I want a sandwich.
Forty five minutes in: She’s in Rome and the focus of the film seems to be on food! REALLY want a sandwich.
One hour in: Bored doesn’t even cover it! I’m trying, I honestly am! I’d really appreciate it if Jason Statham entered a scene and beat someone up.
One hour, five minutes in: There’s a cringe-worthy scene when an Italian guy admits to a table full of people, that he is scared his American girlfriend (sitting right next to him) may leave him one day. His insecurity makes me squirm. If there’s any time for a Statham round-house kick…it’s now.
One hour, ten minutes in: The Italians make a good point; “the Americans know entertainment, but they don’t know pleasure.” This is of course eligible to Britain, which has scaaaaarily similar negative statistics to the US when it comes to lifestyle.
One hour, twelve minutes in: She’s in India! My interest perks just for the simple fact that India is high on my list. She goes on a silence retreat (thank the Lord), taking an instant disliking to a middle-aged Texan bloke. I think she’s moody, high-maintenance and a bit annoying by this point.
One hour, seventeen minutes in: Kill me. Make it fast.
One hour, twenty five minutes in: So it turns out she gets on with the Texan guy after all and they become good friends. Predictable as Charlie Sheen in a whorehouse.
One hour, thirty minutes in: Off she leaves to Indonesia, crying because she is suddenly best friends with the guy she irrationally hated ten minutes ago. He leaves her with the sappy advice of; “Believe and love again.” I’m sick in my mouth a little.
One hour, thirty eight minutes: After a few flirty encounters with Javier Bardem and giving him incredibly mixed signals, she goes to meet an old, very likable guru who is probably the best thing about the film and adds a bit of humour and charm to it.
One hour, forty minutes: Javier Bardem blatantly has more patience than me, as Gilbert blabbers more Womanese and continues to mess with his feelings while he’s conspicuously in love with her. Her neuroticism annoys the hell out of me, but there’s some parts I relate to.
The End: I really need to watch ‘The Expendables” right now.
**A Little Review
I think you can tell that this movie did not move me in any way and I’d give it a 3/10. It was definitely no “The Notebook,” put it that way! I’m very much alone in the minority with my view on this film and anyone with an itchy, restless soul will find some moments of comfort yet moments of nauseating, narcissistic nonsense.
I initially related to Gilbert’s character in a big way as she had a zest and passion for a better life…she was also completely confusing and tiresomely flaky. Then again, I’m not a million miles away from her story; a guy who is dissatisfied with life and is in search of meaning and world travel! Maybe I seen a bit of what I dislike about myself. Hmmm, food for thought….
P.S. All the ladies I know who’ve seen it, feel the film is far less affecting or thought-provoking than the book.
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